I LOVE YOU

Merry Christmas Babe

Rosemary,

You're away from me for four days and I miss you. You write me somehow in the midst of a ridiculously awesome vacation. You amaze me. I love you babe.

I was going to write about the time in between date party and now, but I didn't know where to fit it. The main part I wanted to let you know about was how much I loved the conversations we'd have. To me, it was amazing that I got to talk about the possible future I could have with you.

I have no idea what is going to happen, but it was genuinely awesome being able to think of the possibilities. Two cynical minds got together, put aside the 'in all likelihood' case and talked about the 'what if'. Sometimes people are scared to bring up or scared of the 'what if' in general. I love the 'what if'.

I talk about the 'what if' to show there is nothing wrong with having dreams. I talk about the 'what if' because I will always trust the people in my life I feel I should be able to.

I love the 'what if', and sometimes it would be nice if the 'what if' became the 'what is', but maybe that is too much bullshitÉ

Anyway, to continue with the letter, since you have been gone I have merely been around. I will probably find something cool to do so no worries about that, but I genuinely miss holding you. Even though I need to 'adjust' from time to time when we are in bed together, I would rather be in an amazingly uncomfortable position with your legs on me than in the most comfortable position manageable without them. This is what I have realized. I love waking up next to you. Either you're awake and I get to see your eyes first thing, or I wake up a little before, feeling really warm, get to grab hold of you tight and fall back asleep until you shake me off and wake me up again.

I love that, I miss that, I can't wait to have that again.

We can't be together this holiday season, but there'll be more. I'll save this New Years' kiss for next year. Actually, I have 20 of them built up now, so be ready for 12:00:01 am January 1st, 2009.

I love you girl, can't wait to be able to kiss you again, to hold you again...

This letter won't end yet. 'What if' it never ends? I'd be okay with that. This is just the end of the very beginning.